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Overcome Shyness Through Self Help

December 4th, 2009 | Posted in mental health

If you are a very shy person, the thought of talking to strangers may make you extremely nervous. There is an instant uneasiness if you think about talking to new people. Extreme amount of shyness can cause social inhibitions which lead to disruption of normal social interaction with people. This problem is called social anxiety and it affects millions of people at some point in their life. Cognitive behavioral treatment is one of the best therapies for curing this disorder.

Scientists actually thought that the family’s environment directly impacted the emotional growth of the children while they morph into adults. It is now clear that some people are shy by nature. Some people are able to manage and overcome this but some continue to suffer till the end of their lives. In today’s times, one doesn’t need to mingle face to face and can do social interactions virtually. Thanks to the internet and its associated characteristics like email interaction and computer gaming, the social interaction potential is greatly reduced. In order to cure this disorder, there are many things one can do to overcome its negative effects.

Firstly, you need to find out what triggers the chain of thoughts in our mind. You can’t be feeling shy in all situations. When do you really feel uncomfortable? Pose a question for yourself about this at the beginning itself. Does your mind start making negative predictions on its own without any logic? Try and challenge the negative thoughts before you start believing them and accepting them as true.

A shy person should start thinking in the direction that their thoughts are nothing but guesses. Do not put too much attention on information that confirms your belief in anxiety. One good way would be deflect your thoughts to something useful which disproves your negative thoughts. Everyone cannot be pleased all the time.

Put yourself right in the front and confront the negativity. It is a good idea to expose yourself to the situation as you yourself intentionally put yourself in situations which make you anxious. One of the best ways to deal with this is to constantly start facing situations so that the anxiety softens its grips and erodes away. The end objective should be to attract what you are fearful of and to realize that it isn’t a big deal. You may have a rumbling feeling in your stomach, but it is worth doing as soon as possible. The more you delay it, the more you will torture yourself.

Shyness happens to be a personality characteristic and not a psychological imbalance or disorder. It has varying degrees of shyness. Some people simply can’t face crowd and then there are some who want to live like hermits, totally cut off from the world. That’s not the way one should be living their life. Some shy people treat shyness as a cocoon. The cocoon provides them warmth, quietness and aloofness. At the same time, it is very dark, lonely and confining.

It is a good idea to get help from family and friends. During difficult times, they will provide you with pointers and support. It becomes quite easy and comforting, when you know that you have someone who will support you during difficult period. Soon you will realize that your fears are getting overcome. By the time you attain a social life, you will realize that how easy it is to be there and met people.

You can do multiple things to overcome shyness. Start taking one step at a time which can turn out to be a good beginning to ensure that shyness disappears. There is much more to resolve this disorder but with these pointers, one can make a good beginning.

You can learn more self help insights in a free course at Words of Wisdom Insights. Hans S Delane teaches wisdom courses and you can learn more at Personal Development Insights.

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